From Maiden to Mother: The Sacred Slow-Down I Didn’t Know I Needed

I realize I’m in the early stages of this motherhood journey, but how does it feel like God prepared me for each stage of pregnancy, birth, and now postpartum? It's almost as though each phase is carefully curated with precision and compassion, knowing the journey would feel long and grueling yet empowering and fulfilling.

My pregnancy was fairly effortless (compared to nightmare stories I've heard), but for someone who usually experiences complete freedom and pain-free daily movement, I have to admit it was a challenge. I taught 18+ yoga classes/week, ran a boutique yoga studio, taught two 200-hour teacher training programs, and hosted 4 yoga and hiking retreats over the 38 weeks. To say I stayed active during my pregnancy is an understatement.  And if you know me personally, you know this is one hundred percent on brand with who I am and what I love. It feels like a part of my identity I didn't think I was ready to part with. And yet, I gradually felt the need to slow down. My body needed more rest as my belly grew larger and my favorite easy movements became uncomfortable and impossible. I gradually lost the connection to my core, which made even hopping in and out of my jacked-up Jeep somewhat of a task. It was weird not to feel 100% strong and connected to my body, and yet looking back at it now, this phase was teaching me to slow down and tread lighter within myself, knowing I would have to do the same, if not more now, with my little one in tow. 

If you told me years ago I would feel completely fulfilled by not leaving my house and barely moving my body for over 2 weeks, I wouldn't have believed you. And yet this new season of motherhood, of healing my body, and bonding with my newborn, was all I yearned for. I embraced the time spent in bed (thanks to my rockstar and supportive mom, who stayed with me for 5 weeks and allowed me to do this). I welcomed the meal deliveries and thoughtful gifts from my community. Accepting help is yet another foreign feeling for my maiden self. Yet during pregnancy, I needed to start welcoming this idea since there were so many simple tasks I usually didn't think twice about and now needed to strategically plan.

For example, picking up yoga blocks or carrying my own suitcase up stairs.

I often wanted to prove I was self-sufficient and independent, but now, with a new helpless being depending on me for pure survival, I knew I couldn't navigate this alone. He had complete dependency on me, and I needed help. It felt foreign as I retired the maiden version of myself, and yet exactly on point with everything I knew I needed as I entered into motherhood.

I do my best to stay spiritually minded in all that I do daily. Pregnancy, birth, and now caring for an infant has and is testing my faith in a BIG way. If I didn't have a strong foundation and relationship with God and Jesus, I would be freaking out regularly. But see, that's the key and my saving grace. I trust God and Jesus were in control of my pregnancy and transitioning my little boy here to earthside. At the same time, I was/am simply the vessel that carried him and will continue to nurture and teach him all things that will assist him to thrive.  

I guess my point in sharing all of this is: As I reflect on the most life-altering calendar year I have yet to experience, I was ready, even though I didn't think I was. There's a plan, even though I didn't think any of it would be mine. There's a step-by-step evolution that God assists us with IF we are willing to surrender, notice it, and lean into it.

So, HUGE SHOUT OUT to those who supported me in ways I didn't know I needed. I learned what support and love look like as a caregiver. I learned who was there for me and who didn't know how to be (and that's ok!). There's no judgment! I hope I can reciprocate the care I received to those who need it in the appropriate chapters we are all given here. AND most of all, thank you, God, for converting me into Motherhood so gracefully. I felt your angels supporting me and my little one every step of the way, and I promise to love him as your son while we are here.